Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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