Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
