well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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