Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
