The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
