This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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