Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
