saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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