Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
