there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
