dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
