i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
