it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
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You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
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Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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