my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
