so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
