allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
