I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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