we have officially lost it.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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