He is an equal opportunity slut.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
