whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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