..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
