Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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