Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
