ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
