He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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