did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
