so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
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I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
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So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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