The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
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