I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
