Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I need a beard to bite.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
