just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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