i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
