Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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