After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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