She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
