we have pet lesbian snakes
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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