I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
