Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
