I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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