I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
