and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
