She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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