is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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