guys are only as good as the porn they watch
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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