oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
