Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
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Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
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So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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