"it" just moved
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
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