Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
