I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
You smell like stripper and shame
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
