And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
...so i touched it.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
