I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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