This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
