So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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