she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
