i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
How does one acquire holy water?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
