these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
