you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I want to be your penis for a week.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
