I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
