I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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