Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
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yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
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Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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