So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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