Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize