just tell him i said nine months
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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