I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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